I idle. I idle a lot!

Its not like i lack in things i SHOULD be doing, but more often then not most thing i need to do require me to wait for something before its completed, or wait for somebody. Thus I idle.

I read my blogs. I read wikipedia for the obituaries. I refresh digg fairly often. I'm all over facebook.

I mostly try to find long articles to read on wikipedia or some reputable non biased journals that will offer some depth to their papers and not so much just skimming the surface.

So I IDLE.

And when i idle and i'm hungry it is a BAD combination. What do i want for dinner? what do i want to cook this week? What do i need to buy to make dish X? How many people will it serve? Is it worth the time?

As my brain pan fills up with these questions i wonder to myself; Do i really like my professional identity? Do i like the sector that i work in? Yes i love the mental challenges that working in tech offers, but, ultimately is this something that i am passionate about?

Honestly i don't know. Maybe i should work in the service industry. I have 7 years of putting on a smile and helping customers and i like it when they are happy. I also like food. not like a passing fad every 6 hours. But like i plan, hours, days, weeks, in advance what i will be eating, what i should be eating, what i can be eating. I am not sure i was ever meant to attend culinary school, I don't think that is for me, i just want to be a good cook, so i can feed people and make them happy.

And yet i still don't know if that would be rewarding to me, if it would satisfy me. Twice now i have had my palm read and both times i have been told something to the line of "two streams of income" or "two different paths" are in my future or my present.

So i suppose i will have to make up my mind, but meanwhile being stuck in IDLE town is not fun, especially when fruits of the labor are non existent, when there is no goal to work towards how do you stay motivated to come into work at 11 am.... 4 days a week, if it doesn't rain.....